I hate to admit this, but there are many irresponsible men who laugh at the chance to leave their family a significant size of wealth once he has been placed six feet deep. Gone forever. No coming back. We all have our destined time to leave this place called earth no matter the religious stances you may embrace. It is true, that we will leave our families to continue our work or start a new work which will happen in many cases. In order to continue the work, it will require money. In order to sustain the lifestyle, it will require money. In order to progress the children, it will require money. There is no getting around this reality.
Very few men understand their purpose in life and their responsibility. It can be tough to integrate both without a model or help. Many men have fear of stepping out to create a life that is respectable and worthy of handing to their heirs. Being invested with substantial assets to carry the name on is nothing more than a mere thought at the stoplight interrupted by the consistent horn of the car behind them in traffic. So, it is safe to say, many families will suffer badly once their leader number’s has been called. Diving deeper into thought about this reality is that the family will experience a financial death.
As men die, we leave behind a beautiful spouse who will now become the providers and protectors of our very own likeness. Our children. In a perfect world, life financially should be stress free. There will be no life free of suffering, but at least the money should not be a problem. There is no doubt in my mind that marriages are fruitful and loving. There is evidence that families will suffer tremendously due to the lack proper legacy planning. Personally, I have looked men eye to eye at their response to never leave one dime to their spouse and children. It struck me as a new agent, but I got over it as time progressed. I wrestled with how a man could claim he loved his wife and his children and yet, leave them without the one thing they needed to operate in life. MONEY. After coming across this mentality several times, I decided to put a list together for my sisters who married a man who was irresponsible in legacy planning.
Step One: Love your husband through that decision.
You are still commanded to love and be there for him. There is still some good in him. Real love means to love a man through his faults as well. Maybe he needs to work through this decision with other responsible men. Pray for that to happen. Maybe you have a husband who is very serious about never leaving you anything for the children. Still love him and follow the next steps.
Step Two: Adjust to your new normal.
You can no longer walk around in LA LA Land. You will have work harder now. Especially if the children are smaller. That means if your husband were to die unexpectedly, your whole life will change. No one is going to pay your bills consistently. They never budget for that. You may get a few blessings, but you will work very hard to replenish the cash that is lost. You will have to be mentally strong moving forward. If you have not worked in 10-20 years, prepare to enter a new type of workforce. Times have changed. It can be rough with no experience in the past 10-20 years.
Step Three: Create a new financial plan.
Now you have to create a plan that will sustain the household after your husband’s death. This causes for a new personal budget. Stepping your game up. Thinking through investment strategy. Paying off all your debt. Work on paying off the mortgage, credit cards, or any other debt you may have now. Pay the cars off. Start working on the principle now. If a death happens unexpectedly, you need to be in the best financial situation possible. No bills, just benefits. No debt is a benefit. It’s no financial pressure. Get serious on the financial plan. I am sorry, you will have to do this by yourself, but it will work. If you have older children, help them find jobs. Every dollar they make will have to go toward college planning. Help them to understand the importance of taking on some household utilities. It will free up some your earnings to invest for later years.
Step Four: Do not have anymore children.
If your husband has not taken the measures to provide a significant amount of wealth to you and your current children, do no have any more. Children are a blessing and a financial cost. Don’t be foolish.
Step Five: Take care of your health.
Stay as healthy as you can. Start going to the gym. Change your eating habits. Try to live as long as you can for the mission ahead.
Follow this list because you married a man who was irresponsible. He loved you, but he did not own his responsibility.
This blog was written by Brentley Wright. The principal of Diverse Legacies.